motherjones:

fek:

Remember that time Eazy-E had lunch with George H.W. Bush? 

“I think she was actually afraid to look at the short African-American next to her, so she didn’t notice that (Eazy E’s) eyes looked like a couple of all-black marbles. Nobody’s been that stoned in the White House since Gerald Ford’s kid Jack smoked dope on the White House roof. And Eazy had better weed that Jack Ford ever did.”

!!?

I’m sure he was just there to thank all of them for being so vigilant in fighting the inner-city AIDS crisis. 

apsies:

President Obama greets supporters in the audience at the end of his election campaign rally at Kent State University, Ohio on September 26, 2012.

Apparently no students were shot.

Needs more inappropriate suckling on his dead father’s teat.

mattchew03:

Pretty sure the guy who wrote this to me thinks he was emailing Jonah Mowry. Anyway: at first I was like ^_^ … but then I was like o_O. Because what the hell?

Yikes. With FRIENDS like this, who needs a football coach?

youngmegadethite:

tomatopilot:

why does this exist?

PLEASE NOTE

Cremation not included.

staff:

It’s now super easy to add a “Share on Tumblr” button to any site.

Adding the basic Tumblr Button couldn’t be simpler. Just cut and paste the code and you’ll be off running. But the advanced options are where it gets interesting…

The Tumblr Button can give you complete control over how your content appears when shared on Tumblr. Not only does this mean specifying an excerpt or summary, but also deciding whether it appears as a Link, Quote, Photo, or Video Embed.

Even better: This can be deeply integrated with just about any publishing platform to add contextual buttons next to things like paragraphs or photos. Check out these examples.

The appearance of the button is also completely customizable.

Click here to get started!

Geronimo!

inlovewithgeosciences:

Rumbling Falls Cave, Tennessee

“Far from the light of day, cavers illuminate the four-acre, 350-foot-high Rumble Room. Reaching the limestone cavern entails dropping down a 68-foot shaft, climbing up two 14-foot waterfalls, and stooping or crawling along 2,000 feet of passageways, some barely a foot wide.”

Photograph by Stephen Alvarez

Forgot to mention the “sawing off your arm” part.

hellandheartaches:

GOODNIGHT! 

Drops Mic and exits on wrong side of the stage…..

Talk about hitting rock bottom.

atomische:

Catholic Magazine FAIL - The Daily Dish

I don’t think this is what Jesus meant by “Take and eat; this is my body.”

alanharris:

I woke up and found myself sitting in the middle of a group of children. Quickly scanning the room I fixed my gaze at the horror unfolding in the front of the room; a puppet choking the life out of some child’s hand.

Running forward, I grabbed the puppet by the throat and started squeezing for dear life, the children behind me began screaming in terror. I managed to break the puppet’s death grip on the child’s hand, who was now crying in pain, and threw it to the ground. I pulled out my gun and fired four shots into its head. After collecting myself and allowing the gravity of the situation to sink in, I dropped to my knees and began sobbing.

“It’s okay mister,” Tommy said, “it’s only a puppet.”

“FUCK OFF, TOMMY!” I screamed in his stupid face.

I was fired that day and had my teaching licence revoked. I guess that’s what you get for being a hero.

In this story, Tommy will playing the role of the aid flotilla, and the teacher will be playing Israel.

mattchew03:

Funny because it’s true.

[Reddit]

They forgot this one.

hatethefuture:

South Carolina Now Requires ‘Subversives’ To Register

Terrorists who want to overthrow the United States government must now register with South Carolina’s Secretary of State and declare their intentions—or face a $25,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison.

There’s even a $5 filing fee.

Problem solved! If only we had thought of this in 2000.