Sometimes the democratic process coughs up such a miserable choice between separate but equally despicable strains of evil that you really have to wonder whether there’s anything really protecting us. Imagine if one of them had become president. I hope their debate table was burned in a pagan cleansing ritual.
When I was a freshman I got to meet John Edwards, say what you will about his character (I’ll probably agree with you) but his hair is flawless. In our society, apparently that’s worth something.
One of these men started two wars, is one of the most potent symbols of modern-day evil incarnate, and shot his friend! Though he very strangely, and not terribly courageously, refused to join the GOP gay witch hunt because his daughter is a lesbian.
The other one has nice hair, and is a complete fucking scumbag, because family means more to the guy next to him who looks like he wants to eat your baby.