aatombomb

Apr 16

The stages of love, told through illicit substance abuse

Stage 1: Crack. The brush of an arm, the anticipation of something completely new and frightening. A rush of adrenaline that makes you both hyper-conscious of your surroundings and lost in the intimate moment at the same time.

Stage 2: Cocaine. You start dating. You can’t get through dessert before rushing home to have ridiculous monkey sex all night long. You say everything running through your head at all times, and there’s a lot going on up there. It’s exhausting and exhilarating and feels like it could last forever.

Stage 3: Marijuana. It doesn’t last forever, but it starts to feel like it might sometimes, and it makes you a little nervous. But you settle into a comfortable pattern of sitting together snuggling on the couch, watching Broad City and Brooklyn 99, laughing too hard. Eating too much ice cream. Feeling blurry.

Stage 4: Alcohol. To numb the pain. The fairy tale ending.

venosaurs asked: I am literally losing my shit over that picture in the worst way like what the fuck Annie.

Why? It’s very much in line with the Hedwig vibe, which he is obviously cultivating now. I don’t understand this reaction at all.

Stephen Colbert is succeeding downward by taking over Late Show -

paulftompkins:

Hosting Late Show isn’t what made David Letterman a revered figure in comedy, and it won’t be for Colbert. Letterman became a legend by reinventing the form as the original host of NBC’s Late Night

Yes, AV Club, but does that mean no one can do so again? I’d like to see an episode or two of Late Show with Stephen Colbert before I decide it’s just like every other show.

Jesus, for real. And when did we start taking AV Club seriously anyway?

[video]

It’s not the machines I dislike, just the human cesspool creating and surrounding them.
I’d make an amazing liaison to our new robot rulers. I’m eager to please, intuitive when it comes to reading humans and their childish ways, and would have no problem turning my back on humanity. 

It’s not the machines I dislike, just the human cesspool creating and surrounding them.

I’d make an amazing liaison to our new robot rulers. I’m eager to please, intuitive when it comes to reading humans and their childish ways, and would have no problem turning my back on humanity. 

I don’t fully understand the term “Internet-of-things” and I don’t want to, all I know is that it’s going to start pissing me off very soon.

tastefullyoffensive:

Perspective. [x]

So true. I feel like a pedo looking at 25 year olds now.
Also, this is a direct quote from me to a friend about NPH earlier today: “I’m not even that attracted to his pasty white face but I’d homewreck the shit out of him.”

tastefullyoffensive:

Perspective. [x]

So true. I feel like a pedo looking at 25 year olds now.

Also, this is a direct quote from me to a friend about NPH earlier today: “I’m not even that attracted to his pasty white face but I’d homewreck the shit out of him.”

(via crushabledotcom)

“Horrifyingly, many girls said they believed that men cannot keep themselves from harassing or grabbing women, describing men as ‘unable to control their sexual desires.’ According to the report, ‘they perceived everyday harassment and abuse as normal male behavior, and as something to endure, ignore, or maneuver around.’” —

This is terrible: Study finds that teen girls see sexual violence as normal and unavoidable (via theweekmagazine)

They’re not wrong.

peerintothepast:

Woman on a scooter. 1916

Look at this fucking hipster.

peerintothepast:

Woman on a scooter. 1916

Look at this fucking hipster.

(via alter43)

“Colbert’s dilemma is that he didn’t become a true successor to David Letterman by taking over Letterman’s job. He did so by hosting Report and, like Dave before him, reinventing what a television show could do. Now, again like Letterman before him, he’s moving to CBS and the second, less interesting phase of his career. Colbert has made it to the top. He just had to take a step down to get there.” —

Stephen Colbert is succeeding downward by taking over Late Show · For Our Consideration · The A.V. Club (via sostark)

Exactly.

(via ericmortensen)

This is a pretty strained analogy between the two careers. Not sure you can compare a cable spin-off satire show with Letterman’s epic fight to climb into Carson’s seat and having to settle for CBS instead. Whether the jump from cable to a network will soften Colbert’s bite or not, it’s a jump anyone in the Daily Show universe would kill for, and it’s a real testament to Colbert’s talent and professionalism (not to mention his negotiating skills).

(via ericmortensen)



Angela Lansbury officially becomes Dame

True royalty.

Angela Lansbury officially becomes Dame

True royalty.

(Source: rte.ie)

I’m trying a dry work week to lose some weight for summer, so if I seem particularly bitchy after two and a half days without alcohol now you know why.

washingtonpost:

Have already lost entire minutes to TL;DR Wikipedia. 

Oh look, the WaPo intern found Tl’dr Wikipedia.

washingtonpost:

Have already lost entire minutes to TL;DR Wikipedia. 

Oh look, the WaPo intern found Tl’dr Wikipedia.

(Source: tldrwikipedia)

I saw a porn clip recently with the word “accede” in it (used correctly!) and was suitably impressed.

I saw a porn clip recently with the word “accede” in it (used correctly!) and was suitably impressed.

(via socialnetworkhell)

Dear media interns of Tumblr

Posting an example of the meme-du-jour several jours later is almost certainly never going to be the “best thing the internet has done” and makes you, and your media overlords, look out of touch and oddly dated, considering you are probably 20 years younger than me.

Check out what Denny’s is doing, because they’re the only ones getting it right so far.